The Greatest Guitar Riff Ever: 1987

Back after yet another injury & ailment, we are choosing the Best Riff of 1987. Check it out.

Here we are yet again with me publishing an apology for not blogging for a few weeks. I was washing the dishes and, more specifically, washing a steak knife and decided it would be a good time to filet my finger. My pointer finger on my dominant hand lol. Three stitches and a split later and it took me a few weeks to get back to the point of Typing. Here we are, though. Back with more Riffletter nonsense. Also, FYI, Andy and I will be camping with our families the rest of this week so probably skipping on HYLI but should be back next week with your regular scheduled programming pending me not, idk, catching swine flu or getting shot by a crossbow or whatever else the Universe decides to hurl at me. Enjoy!

Bathory - Call From the Grave

Pure grime. This thing is filthy. I need to wash my hands. Gross riff.

Candlemass - Bewitched

No one will answer me, do you think this band likes Black Sabbath? I’m being a brat, this shit rules lol.

Celtic Frost - Inner Sanctum

The little groove shift out of the intro riff into the verse riff around 30 seconds in is so sick. There are so many groove changes in this. Insanely cool thrash. Need to check more of this band’s shit out, every riff I’ve heard is just so cool.

The Cure - Just Like Heaven

Dude, are you kidding me? Of course, the riff here is the little Bass VI line that carries from the intro into the verses but I love everything about the guitar playing here. The little lick/solo thing that carries on in between the verse and the choruses is sooooo in my head all the time. Iconic shit.

Descendents - Van

Who the fuck saw the band that wrote “Suburban Home” writing this weird, jazzy punk shit? I guess that’s what happens when you replace half of the band with pros. Probably my favorite Descendents song lol.

Dinosaur Jr. - In a Jar

J. Mascis is one of my favorite guitarists ever. When I was bored out of my mind, like we all were, during COVID lockdown times I tried making a list of favorite guitarists ever and my best friends in the world were shocked at my Mascis placement. Sorry! He rocks me!! However, the Dino formula - at least early on - was largely fuzzed-out chord strumming in the verses and choruses and then a sick and wild solo. Not a ton of “riffs.” That’s okay though because Lou Barlow is also in Dinosaur Jr. and his bass is riffing its fucking ass all over this thing. Incredible work from my guy.

Embrace - Can’t Forgive

More proto-Fugazi, this time with a sound that I kinda wish Fugazi dabbled with some. Michael Hampton’s tone is very 80s, what with the amount of chorus on the guitar, but his noodling throughout the track is something Ian Mackaye’s band that followed just never really did at this level. Love it.

Guns N’ Roses - Sweet Child O’ Mine

My mom was a nice lady who taught me kind lessons like “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” This is being included for Objective Journalism purposes. Moving on.

Napalm Death - Scum

Real rock right here. Slash who?

Prince - The Ballad of Dorothy Parker

Kevin Parker listen to this song and jump off a cliff my man it is over for you.

R.E.M. - The One I Love

Peter Buck continues to be thee coolest prior to trading in his Rickenbacker for some folksy cutesy twee shit. Maybe my favorite riff from him, or at least, the one constantly stuck in my head at all hours of the day without rest. Perfection.

The Replacements - Can’t Hardly Wait

A riff that fed an entire generation of Grantland writers. Incredible stuff. This should be cued up in every movie for the rest of time. It should replace “Where is My Mind” tomorrow.

The Smiths - Girlfriend in a Coma

The last great The Smiths song and the last great Andy Rourke riff. Truly and deeply RIP a king.

U2 - Bullet the Blue Sky

Obviously a great guitar record but, similar to this era of J. Mascis, the bald guy isn’t really riffing. You know who is riffing? Adam Clayton. Riffing his fucking ass off. God this shit is so cool. More people should talk about U2 bass and stop saying the same boring things they say about the two boring guys in the band. Perfect post-punk bass riffing right here.

What is the Best Riff of 1987?

Lots of indie rock this week! Little punk, metal and hardcore! We’re moving closer and closer to alternative rock. I think the finalists this week are quite clear. “Just Like Heaven,” “In a Jar,” “The One I Love,” “Can’t Hardly Wait” and “Bullet the Blue Sky.” If you’re crying about me not selecting the most Guitar Center riff of all time here, piss up a wall elsewhere I don’t care that song fucking sucks. To whittle down the five finalists I picked here, I think we can eliminate “Bullet the Blue Sky” mostly because, while it’s a sick bass riff, no one (unfortunately) thinks about the bass playing on that album because The Edge is flying a spaceship of a pedalboard all over the thing. I also think “Can’t Hardly Wait,” while a perfect song, is a bit try-hard of a pick here and an incredibly simple riff, though simplicity is sometimes key. Really tough to pick from The Cure, Dino Jr. and R.E.M. I’m going to eliminate Dino next, and it pains me to do so, but I think that J.’s riffs on upcoming albums are out of this world and, no disrespect to Lou, but the guitar playing on the other two riffs is too cool for me to give it to a bass riff. Whiiiiich also kinda eliminates the Cure here. Bass VI is kinda guitar but also definitely bass and, if I’m being honest, I want Peter Buck to win one of these and this might be his last shot. It’s “The One I Love.”

Does it top the previous Best Riff?

Best Riff of 1987: R.E.M. - The One I Love

Best Riff Previous Champion: Slayer - Raining Blood

Lmfao it was so rude of me to set it up like this. In a word: no. No, it does not. So sorry, Peter. See y’all next week. Maybe someone will be able to top Slayer lmao probably not. Man, this was mean.